It’s 2009 or something. I’m in the car with my mom, my best friend, my little sister, and her best friend. We’re on the road to South Carolina for a Jonas Brothers concert. We’re blasting “When You Look Me In the Eyes” and replacing all the words with “When You Give Me Some Fries.” We’re wearing matching T-Shirts. We’re insufferable. We’re loving every second of it.
I’m sorry Mom, but I legitimately do not remember the rest of that weekend. All I can recall is singing at the top of my lungs in the car with my best friend and my little sister.
The next thing I know, I’m clutching a teen magazine with a “signed” paper poster of Nick Jonas cuddling a Valentine’s Day themed teddy bear. It’s still in my closet.
It almost goes without saying that I watched their 3D movie tour thing they released.
My old CD case from when I was, like, eleven is still in the trunk of my car; it has three mixtapes full of Jonas Brothers’ songs, as well as their last album.
Basically what I’m trying to say here is that I was–– I am––a ride or die, hardcore Jonas Brothers fan girl. This was before YouTube was really a thing, but I still found a way to burn their songs onto CDs illegally.
So naturally, when I found out that the Jonas Brothers were reunited… I was so excited, I don’t even remember my reaction, really. I think I cried a little. I might have stayed up to watch the music video the second it dropped. Either way, I felt like I was back in the car on my way to South Carolina, singing my heart out to the dismay of my long-suffering mother.
Naturally, I spent the last week consuming every single piece of media content about the Jonas Brothers’ reunion that I could find.
And then I consumed it all again.
And again. And again.
All week, I was asking myself how the best timeline and the worst timeline managed to merge across the space-time continuum. I mean, think about it. Mr. Rogers has been declared bisexual. A new movie about Emily Dickinson is coming out (heh). Also, Ed Sheeran got secretly married to his best friend back in December and we’re just now hearing about it?
Okay, I’m just now hearing about it.
My point is, a lot of good stuff has been happening… and I’m suspicious.
But for now, let’s enjoy this weird break from reality and talk about easily my favorite part of this year to date: the Jonas Brothers’ reunion.
Now, my therapist thinks they’re just pulling a publicity stunt but here’s the thing, Julius: I don’t care. Plus, they admitted that they figured they might as well get paid for hanging out and honestly? As someone with siblings, I can say, Absolutely get that bread.
No offense, I love you guys, but if we could also make millions off our Scrabble tournaments, you know we’d do it.
So I don’t care why they’re back. What I do care about is the fact that they went through a year of family therapy before deciding and now they’re all friends, which is really all I wanted to hear. That and the fact that we’ll also be getting new music that will almost definitely make me cry tears of childhood. Always a plus.
Needless to say, I’m so excited about this whole revelation that we don’t actually live in the worst timeline possible. I can’t wait to see what else the Jonas Brothers’ reunion alters in the universe.